The Audit Avalanche

What happens when your financial plan depends on someone you just broke up with.

Author

R.J. A.
August 14, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

Table of Contents

ELAINE: “Now you're being audited because of it. You see That's Karma.”

JERRY: “No - that's Krama.”

tl;dr

Audits don’t blow up over one slip - they blow up because you built the whole system on that slip not happening.

Previously on Seinfeld

In The Truth (S3, E02), George dumps Patrice, an ex-IRS agent who says everyone’s full name like she’s announcing them at a cotillion. Problem is, Patrice is also holding Jerry’s audit paperwork for a bogus Krakatoa volcano relief fund (thanks to Kramer, obviously). She trashes it, sending Jerry on an archeological dig for ancient receipts. Meanwhile, Kramer gifts his girlfriend an “invisible” coffee table made from a windshield - and proves it’s invisible by sending her to the hospital.

Yada Yada Insight

This was about fragility… not an audit.

Jerry’s crisis didn’t start when Patrice trashed the papers. It started the moment he handed his entire audit to someone who:

  1. He barely knew

  2. He wasn’t paying

  3. Could be furious with George at any given moment

Founders fall into this trap all the time: one client contact has the keys to the account, one freelancer runs the whole backend, one spreadsheet lives on one laptop. It all works… until it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, you’re tearing through boxes for a 1987 computer receipt the night before an IRS meeting.

Brittle systems fail exactly when you can’t afford it. And it’s never just the missing files: it’s the wasted hours, the scramble to rebuild, the hit to trust with whoever’s across the table.

Kramer’s coffee table is the perfect metaphor; you don’t see the danger until you slam your shin into it.

Takeaway: If one lost file, one no-show, or one argument can tank a major process, you’re not running a business. You’re running on luck.

Unlocking the Vault

The “Audit-Proof” Playbook

When you’re under audit (or in any high-stakes situation) you don’t rise to the occasion. You fall to the level of your systems. This is how you make sure those systems don’t collapse under one bad break:

1. Hunt the weak links

List the 5 most critical things in your business. Then ask, “If this person quit or this file vanished tomorrow, what happens?” If the answer is panic, fix it now.

2. Double your docs

Every critical document lives in two secure, shared places. If it’s in only one, consider it already gone.

3. Keep drama out of the workflow

Personal entanglements make bad contingency plans. Friends, exes, or anyone in a fight with your partner should not be holding the keys to your business survival.

4. Test the system

Once a quarter, run a “mock audit” and time how long it takes to find your top 10 must-have documents. Over 15 minutes? Your system’s not ready.

5. Own the retrieval process

Never depend on one person to retrieve or send something. Use shared access and clear, written protocols so anyone on your team can step in.

If your system only works when nothing goes wrong, it’s not a system - it’s a gamble. Build for failure now, so you’re not tearing apart a storage unit for a 15-year-old receipt at 11 p.m.

Need systems that survive more than one bad day?

I help founders build calm companies with clean numbers and zero “Patrice just trashed the audit” moments.

No single points of failure. No mystery folders. No 11 p.m. receipt hunts.

Meme of the Week

Your system works perfectly… until it’s lying in pieces on the floor.👇

Let’s Catch Up at Monk’s

🪞 Too Close for Comfort - When your “friendly” vendor gets a little too close to your operations.

🗄 Don’t Let Kramer Pick Your Vendors - Why vetting your vendors isn’t optional, unless you like chaos installs.

⏳ The Waiting Game Strategy - Patience in business is good… waiting forever is not a growth plan.

💸 Want $500 from Ramp? Use this link — no yada yada.

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